Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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