if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
