she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
