she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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