We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
