Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
only if we run a train.
done.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
