U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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