I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
