So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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