I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
