found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
