they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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