woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
