I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
