you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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