She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
