i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
