I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
