I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my poor anus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize