so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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