Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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