Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
