I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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