kristin has been a bad kristin
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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