I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
