you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Boobs speak an international language.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
