Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
