his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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