super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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