I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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