i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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