There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex