Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.