Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
