Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
