god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
