tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
