Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
