do herpes really smell.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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