o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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