So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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