weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
