forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
