Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
