Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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