wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
