So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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