I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize