as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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