Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
