you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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