the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
