I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im holly from the hills drunk
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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