it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
