hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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