scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
