He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
