i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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