right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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