even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
