His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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